


punkguysfuck

by Horsegirl_PanickedKilljoy



Series: Band Members Doing Questionable Things On The Internet [2]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Blog, Crack Fic, M/M, Porn Blogs, Tumblr, Wallowing in self-pity, Wow, are these even tags, band members doing questionable things on the internet, idk anymore, no brallon sorry, ok, past relationship, past ryan/brendon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horsegirl_PanickedKilljoy/pseuds/Horsegirl_PanickedKilljoy
Summary: In which Brendon runs a porn blog and Dallon definitely does not follow it





	

**Author's Note:**

> This...is a thing.

See the thing is, Brendon runs a porn blog. And it isn’t just a regular, run of the mill porn blog, no. That would be too easy. Brendon just happens to run a gay porn blog. It’s littered with photos, gifs, and videos of punk men scantily clad in leather or nothing at all. It begs the question of how half of them manage to keep their spiked hair so flawless throughout. Not that Brendon cares to think about logistics when he could be jacking off to said men instead.

To the internet, his blog is run by an anonymous man who occasionally posts dick pics for the hell of it. Brendon loves the anonymity, loves that he has one aspect of his life where he is not Brendon Urie: Famous Rock Star but instead –B, who runs a porn blog. At least, he reasons, he’s not one of those annoying porn blogs that follows a good two thirds of the website just to get followers. No, he let his blog grow quietly and now it has almost ten thousand followers. It’s somewhat comforting to know who none of those people are, that way he doesn’t have to hold himself back from posting anything and everything.

The first time he fucks up is early March. He’s innocently scrolling through Tumblr looking for porn to reblog, when he spots a picture of a familiar person. A _very_ familiar person to be exact, one who wears scarves in the vast majority of Brendon’s memories of him.

Brendon marvels over how much older he looks, how is face is more defined and how he just looks so much more sure of himself than he did back when they played shows together. His jeans hang low off of his hipbones, revealing a few inches of skin around his hips. Before he can think much about it, Brendon reblogs the picture for later use.

It takes a good three hours before he realizes that his reblog was not set on private.

\--

See, Dallon follows a porn blog. Or two. Or three. Whatever, that’s not the point. The point is that one of the blogs that he follows just reblogged a picture of Ryan Ross. _Ryan Motherfucking Ross._ He’s not even naked, Dallon muses, just wearing jeans slung low on his hips and a copious amount of eyeliner. Why this picture is showing up on his dash amongst naked people and cute kittens (because of course Dallon doesn’t _only_ follow porn blogs, he has some decency mind you) he does not know.

He decides to let it go, chalking it up to the fact that whoever runs that particular blog thinks that Ryan is hot and decided to reblog one picture. No big deal. Dallon resumes to his regularly scheduled scrolling and forgets all about the picture.

\--

The second time Brendon fucks up is actually a series of posts. All pertain to the same topic however: Ryan Ross. Specifically, how Ryan had the nerve to just _leave him,_ right when Brendon had fallen completely in love.

 

punkguysfuck:

_The moon has a way of leaving the sun, if only for a night. There’s a warning, the brightening of the sky and the kiss of sunbeams on your skin. My moon left me without a warning, not even a goodbye glance._

_-B_

punkguysfuck:

_My moon has made it clear that he is never to return, never to grace my presence with gentle moonbeams every again. The moon does not feel remorse for leaving the sun, for he knows that he will return soon. My moon also feels no remorse, but for him the reason is unclear._

_-B_

punkguysfuck:

_If you lose someone, know that they are most likely never coming back._

_-B_

He knows he’s wallowing in the remnants of his broken heart, but he can’t seem to help it. That picture unleashed a floodgate of repressed memories that he had hoped never to have to confront again. Besides, it’s not like anyone would see his ramblings and connect them to Ryan anyway.

\--

Dallon growls at his screen in annoyance. Since when did his favorite porn blog get all emo and riddled with angst? He scrolls, hoping that the rest of his dash isn’t such a boner kill. He is wrong. Yet another angsty text post appears, yet again drawing moon analogies to a…what? Boyfriend? Husband? Long lost lover? To be completely honest, Dallon really couldn’t care less about this guy’s mental breakdown over some dude. He came on here to watch porn, not read whiny posts about how the sun and the moon left each other or some shit.  

Dallon sighs and clicks on a different blog. Immediately, his screen fills with people fucking and not one whiny emo in sight. Yes, he decides to himself, much better.

\--

The third time Brendon fucks up is not entirely his fault. No, he reasons, it’s completely not his fault that pictures of Ryan just start _appearing_ on his dash. When he followed those blogs, with Ryan’s name in the URL, he was under the impression that they posted about…puppies. Yes, exactly. In no way would a blog called ryanrossissexy69 post about Ryan Ross. That’s just crazy and irrational.

No, therefore it is also not his fault that he happens to reblog a good portion of those photographs onto his own blog.  

\--

When hundreds of pictures of Ryan Ross began to appear on Dallon’s dash, he begins to get concerned.

“Am I following a Panic! fan?” He hisses to himself as the tenth picture of Ryan that he has seen today appears in front of his face. Oh shit, what if he’s following a teenager? What if they’re not even a teenager? This is illegal on so many levels, he thinks to himself, widening his eyes at a picture of Ryan that had to have been from around 2004.

“Why is a fucking teenager running a porn blog? What the fuck?” he murmurs, hurriedly attempting to find the unfollow button. If a teenager wants to run a gay porn blog he doesn’t give a shit, but he won’t be the one following it.

Satisfied that his morals are still intact, Dallon enjoys an orgasm free of pictures of Ryan Ross.

\--

The fourth time Brendon fucks up is the final straw. He’s just found a picture of Ryan less a shirt, laughing at something that someone off screen had said. Before his brain his time to consciously think about it, his hand is undoing his jeans and slipping under the waistband of his underwear. He discards his pants, throwing them somewhere on the floor with his free hand and then focuses his attention back to the picture. He palms his dick, already hard at the mere thought of Ryan, Ryan’s lips, Ryan’s mouth…his eyes slip closed, the picture embedded into his brain.

Until…

“Brendon! Gross, dude, shut your door.”

Brendon’s eyes snap open and he growls in annoyance. It’s not like they haven’t caught each other jerking off before, it would be near impossible to stay completely secretive in their tour bus.

Except for Ryan, Brendon muses, even back when they toured in tiny vans never once did he catch Ryan masturbating.

When his eyes focus, he realizes that Dallon is staring not at him, but at his computer screen. Brendon snaps it shut, face burning.

“Out!” he orders, pointing to his open door. Dallon gives him an unreadable look but complies, making a point to shut the door loudly behind him.

Brendon is so fucked.

\--

“So,” Dallon says, unable to erase the image of Brendon jacking off to Ryan Ross from his brain.

“So,” Brendon agrees, looking down at his clasped hands uncomfortably.

Fuck it, Dallon decides. “Why were you looking at that blog?”

Brendon gulps and turns his gaze to the floor.

“It’s kinda…mine.”

With all of his heart and soul, Dallon wants to be surprised. Shocked, even. But somehow, he had a nagging feeling that that might be Brendon’s answer.

“Brendon,” Dallon says, trying his hardest to sound rational, “Why do you run a porn blog that recently features Ryan Ross?”

Brendon fidgets and looks up at him.

“I run a porn blog…well, because no one knows who I am. I mean, didn’t before now at least. And because I want to. And the Ryan thing…I guess I’ve just been thinking about him again lately.”

It makes sense, Dallon supposes, although he still can’t entirely wrap his brain around it. But hey, if Brendon wants to blog about gay porn and his ex lover, who is Dallon to put a damper on his fun.

“If you promise to always lock your doors from now on, I can forget that this ever happened. And don’t let him depress you too much, Bren, you know it’s over.”

Brendon nods. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Dal.”

His face scrunches up in thought.  
“Wait…” Brendon says, drawing out the word. “How did you know that my blog has gay porn?”

Dallon looks at him in sheer terror.

“I used to maybe…follow it?”

Brendon’s eyes widen. “Shit.”

Dallon is so going to kill Ryan Ross for having the guts to even exist.                   


End file.
